Before you married, all you ever heard was that marriage is sweet; your parents’ marriage was even an indication. When you met your husband, that Hollywood, butterflies-in-the-tummy love made you go: ‘This is it!’ However, life seems to have happened; the butterflies are gone, and the sweetness has turned sour.
You’re not sure what went wrong, whether it’s for something as serious as cheating or as fun as winning cricket betting odds, but you don’t think you can continue in the marriage. At the same time, you don’t know whether getting a divorce is a good idea, especially if you’re the one-and-done type. Here are five major reasons why getting a divorce may be the best decision you can make for yourself.
- Physical or Emotional Abuse
Many people get divorced for different reasons, with each reason carrying a varying amount of weight and seriousness. However, there are times when divorcing is a life-saving act, and that includes when physical or emotional abuse is involved. Furthermore, physical and emotional abuse is a legitimate reason to file for a divorce because it’s becoming a life-or-death situation.
While one can work through many issues that arise in a marriage, it’s not usually possible when physical or emotional abuse is involved. Meanwhile, emotional abuse is less easy to recognize than physical abuse, although the latter doesn’t always leave noticeable signs either. Emotional abuse can include guilt trips, name-calling, manipulation, suppression, and oppression, among other things. In this case, there is nothing to work through; the much healthier solution would be to get a divorce.
- Passivity
Another reason a divorce may be the best option is if your partner is passive in their daily actions. Passivity is a common leading cause of divorce and is typically not as easy to identify as physical and emotional abuse. The essence of getting married is to be each other’s confidante, best friend, and someone the other person can rely on.
If you’re not getting that in the marriage and your partner is not ready to make changes. Then, not much can be done to save the marriage; divorce may be the best option. You can save yourself a world of hurt and daily heartbreaks by simply walking away, especially if the couple’s therapy isn’t working.
- Contempt
What is worse than a lack of love in a marriage? That would be outright hate and contempt for one’s spouse. Understand that contempt towards one’s spouse differs from having pet peeves or a mix of positive and negative feelings. Feeling contempt towards one’s partner arouses condescending feelings and thoughts, among other things.
For example, when you start seeing your spouse beneath you, showing your hate through eye rolls, sneers, and name-calling, that’s contempt. When that happens, you have lost every iota of respect for your spouse. You are not interested in sharing your needs and frustrations with your partner; instead, you see them as the cause. In that case, the best thing is to let them go by filing for a divorce.
- Substance Abuse
Another reason why getting a divorce will be better than staying in a marriage is if there’s substance abuse. Moreover, studies have shown that substance abuse accounts for a third of divorces. If your partner is struggling with addiction to alcohol or drugs, it puts magnanimous stress on the family. Meanwhile, it is even worse if children are involved as they can easily be influenced into substance use.
When one partner is more in love with the idea of who your spouse could be rather than who they are now. The only way to save this type of marriage is to seek rehab and therapy – otherwise, a divorce may be looming. More so, divorce is much more likely if the addicted spouse will not admit that they have a problem.
- Infidelity
When one partner is unfaithful, sexually or emotionally, the marriage is as good as over. Cheating on one’s spouse can come in different forms, and it is not until you have sex with another person. When one or both partners have begun going outside to get their emotional or sexual needs met, the marriage will crash. Meanwhile, once one spouse’s trust is betrayed, it can be hard to get it back; it’s even harder for long-term affairs.
According to a study conducted on 104 divorcees, at least 52 said their marriage ended because of infidelity. For many of them, unfaithfulness ended their marriage, which was already deteriorating in the first place.
Conclusion
The best thing to do for a bad marriage after trying everything possible to save it is to end it. Meanwhile, although couples can work through some of these issues, especially with intervention, sometimes, there’s nothing anyone can do anymore. If you are experiencing any of these reasons in your marriage, it’s probably time to call it quits.